Grace under Pressure – The Way of Phi in Practice

Calm under Pressure – Like the rock when waves wash over them

This past week, I have found myself in one of the most exquisite places I have ever visited—Antibes. Nestled along the Mediterranean, with sweeping views of the mountains, it is no surprise that this enclave has long been a sanctuary for the discerning few. The air itself carries an elegance, an understated luxury that whispers rather than declares.

While I am here on tour, sharing my book and my work, there is something far more profound unfolding: I am living The Way of Phi. The philosophy I articulated in writing is now materialising around me, within me, and through my interactions. It is an extraordinary experience to witness one’s own insights reflected so vividly in the fabric of daily life.

The Way of Phi is a collection of mirrors, offering readers an opportunity to glimpse themselves more clearly. And in this moment, those same mirrors are presenting themselves to me—again and again—in the realm of relationships.

For once we have cultivated Dynamic Balance within ourselves—within our bodies, emotions, and intellect—the next frontier is how we engage with others. This is not a solitary endeavour; it is something that must be lived, tested, and refined through experience.

Over the past week, I have immersed myself in conversation and connection, allowing the interplay of human dynamics to teach me. It has been deeply rewarding and, at times, profoundly painful. Having emerged from the depths of depression, for which I am immeasurably grateful, I now find myself navigating the subtleties of authentic relationships—an area where my practice is still evolving.

A pattern has revealed itself, one I cannot yet fully decipher:

1. Someone enters my life.

2. A connection forms.

3. A conflict arises.

4. Either we resolve it, or we part ways.

5. In either case, the relationship feels subtly fractured.

6. Further attempts at resolution often amplify the discord.

7. Contact fades.

8. I am left with an ineffable sense of discomfort.

This cycle has repeated itself enough times to demand my attention. Yet, because I cannot yet see what it is that I project—what frequency I emit that invites these experiences—I cannot consciously alter it. And so, I do not retreat into wariness, nor do I assume the pattern will inevitably continue. Instead, I remain present, attuned to the critical junctures where divergence occurs.

What I can observe, and therefore transform, is my own internal response—step eight. The sensations, emotions, and thoughts that emerge in these moments. Rather than resisting them, I allow them their space, fully feeling them without the impulse to alter or suppress them. Like the steadfast rocks against the crashing waves, I hold my ground. And in this surrender, healing begins. Within this, lies immense potential.

Yesterday, I experienced the rewards of this practice. In several encounters, I felt something shift—an ease, a harmony, a sense that we were engaging together, rather than me simply attempting to bridge the gap. For this has long been the most unsettling aspect of relationships for me: the feeling that relationships are something I do rather than something we share.

On another note, I have been working closely with my business coach to refine how I communicate the essence of what I do. I have distilled this into a video, and I would value your perspective. Does the message resonate? Does it illuminate the depth and value of this work? Do the experiences I propose feel compelling to you? Click here to watch.

Until next time, 

With grace, 

Christopher