Everything is OK - The Way of Phi in Practice -

The days don't get any shorter than right now. Where's your balance?

Dear friend,

Yesterday was the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year here in the north. (If you are in the southern hemisphere, you will have to make some reinterpretations.)

As it is the shortest day, it's really vital to get out and let the sunlight kiss our faces, ideally around the middle of the day. That's a practical aspect of this.

On a more symbolic level, this is the time of the year when the light is 'gone'. For about three days. Then the light is born again. Does this sound familiar?

Whatever culture we live in, we share certain things. The rotation of the earth around the sun is one of them. And the way these two heavenly bodies relate to each other gives us the solstices, the extreme points of how the sun's rays strike the earth. This has been observed for millennia around the world. And it has been celebrated. Over and over again.

Here in Sweden, the midwinter solstice celebrations are called jul – typically spelled as yule in English. Incidentally, this is pronounced just as the word 'hjul' which means 'wheel'. The wheel of the year. Round and round it goes. Like the earth around the sun. And as with so many other cultural phenomena, the old pagan yule celebrations for midwinter were replaced by Christmas as a way to convert the traditions to the new hegemony. However, in the Nordic countries the word 'jul' stayed on.

And even though Jesus Christ was most likely not born in December, the symbolism of the light returning has become deeply linked with the Christian tradition. And here we are. In the midst of the darkness, eagerly awaiting the light. In a few days we will celebrate the return or the birth of the light again. Another round on the wheel of the year.

The days just after the winter solstice are ideal for contemplation and reflection. To turn inwards. To meet the darkness within.

The deeper we can lean into trusting that the light will return, the more profound this exploration can be.

So, I invite you to embark on a midwinter journey with me!

Checking In

– How are you?

Allow the answer to surface.

Then ask yourself: How do you typically answer this rather common question?

Do you have a standard answer? Do you actually consider this as a question or more as a greeting phrase? An extended way of saying 'hello', perhaps?

Now, allow the question to percolate for a moment.

– How are you, really?

Perhaps on closer inspection the answer is different from what first came to you.

Could it be that this deeper answer is something that feels more vulnerable? If so, who do you allow to hear it? Anyone? Yourself?

And thirdly, consider the question one more time, and this time be brutally honest.

– How are you?

What was your answer this time?

Were all three of your answers the same? If so, what does that tell you about yourself? If not, what does that tell you about yourself?

Now, let that go and just breathe for a few moments.

I mean, actually take a few moments to breathe right now.

Ok, if you did breathe, how was that? What shifted? What landed?

(If you didn't pause to breathe, what does that tell you about yourself right now?)

Now, let's get back to this moment.

This moment.

This moment.

Can this moment be any different than it is?

If your answer is yes, what does that even mean?

And if your answer is no, isn't that then true about every moment?

What if nothing is wrong right now?

What if everything is exactly as it has to be?

And what if everything is not only as it has to be, but as it's supposed to be? What if everything is actually OK?

Let's examine this more closely!

Swimming on the Surface

On a superficial level, we might tell ourselves or others that we feel fine. Perhaps that is where we function in our daily affairs, whether professional or private. Perhaps that is what we actually believe. Perhaps that's our strategy to manage our feelings, so that we can focus on other things that we feel we need to focus on. And that is OK.

For we don't have to share everything with everyone. Sometimes it's better to just reply 'good' and move on.

– Where in your life do you stay on the surface?

– Do you always stay on the surface?

Diving

On a deeper level, we might find that we are actually not doing so well. Perhaps we feel stressed or frustrated in some other way.

– Where in your life and with whom do you allow yourself to share what is beneath the surface?

This pain of whatever challenges us might deter us from going deeper. Perhaps it feels dangerous to even attempt feeling it. However, choosing not to feel it doesn't make it go away. For a while we might not notice much of it, especially if we have a strong will. Some people (like myself) can push through almost anything for years on end, but deep inside we know that something is not right. And sooner or later this catches up. Perhaps as we get older, or as we are afflicted by some disease, as our will power wanes, bringing us face to face with whatever we have been refusing to feel. That 'bad' feeling.

Exploring the Depths

If we do go deep enough, through the pain and all the 'ugly' parts, whether initiated by a conscious choice or by necessity (or perhaps both), we eventually tend to end up in a blissful and harmonious place where everything is 'beautiful'. Where all is love.

– Do you know this place? Do you remember it? When did you last experience it? Would you like to feel this again? Are you prepared to let go of everything that is not love? What would it mean for you to do that?

Relatively Speaking

Let us come full circle. To the darkness. To the light. Accepting the good, the bad and the ugly – as well as the beautiful. Allowing everything to be as it is, including the difficult parts, including the imperfections. Letting go of control without giving up the wish to live.

Now, I don't think that everything is relative. That would be taking it too far. For surely, beneath all the layers, I am convinced that there is a fundamental reality that just is. However, for the most part, we are navigating in the relative realm. And in the relative realm, things depend on how we view them. That has certainly been my experience. 

So, just as the glimpses into the ineffable can only be met in any meaningful way by humbly surrendering to them, it would seem to serve us better to be humble also in our day-to-day encounters. Because whether things appear to be good, bad, ugly or beautiful, somewhere everything is OK. If we can allow it.

If you wish to receive emotional support in deepening this experience, click here to listen to one of my songs, surrender to the truth of who you are, and know that everything is OK.

With gratitude, 

Christopher