Discernment - The Way of Phi in Practice -

Over time, the spider gathers its nourishment through a web of its own making

Dear friend,

If all roads ultimately lead to the same place,

does it really matter how we live?

No, I have not become a nihilist.

Quite the opposite.

Over the past weeks, I've been attending mass at church, partaking of Holy Communion, and reading the Bible. It has been comforting and nourishing – and surprising.

For I am noticing an interesting theme that keeps reappearing.

A theme that sounds a lot like polarisation.

Jesus keeps saying things like 'separating the wheat from the chaff', 'not casting pearls for swine', and that 'every tree that does not produce good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire'.

Then he is also saying things that sound much more like bridging polarisation.

For example: turning the other cheek. Or to love your enemies.

So why is this? What is Jesus advocating?

For one thing, I think that when Jesus lived, 2,000 years ago, the world was a different place. And the people he spoke to were steeped in the lore of the Old Testament. That was the baseline. And he seems to have seen a lot of hypocrisy, of people pretending to be pious in order to be seen and admired.

How many people today make a big thing out of their prayers?

Also, thinking about it more deeply along the terminology of The Way of Phi, I keep arriving at the distinction between discernment and polarisation. A distinction that is important, yet one that can be difficult to see, because discernment does require one to be able to recognise differences. So wherein lies the difference?

Closer to home, I have a neighbour here in the forest who drives a big motorcycle. I get the impression that he feels great as he cruises along, and I'm happy for him to do that. However, for some reason or other, he keeps leaving his motorcycle idling for a long time, especially before leaving and sometimes also when arriving back home. Not only the sound but the fumes are starting to get on my nerves.

As I noticed my frustration arising, I caught myself and started considering why he would be doing this. Surely he has his reasons, I told myself. Maybe it is an older motorcycle that needs some time warming up. And with that my frustration abated and turned into empathy.

Many years ago, I was working as a white-water rafting instructor in Turkey.

At one particular place, our instructor taught us how to steer the raft to ensure that everyone fell into the water.

This was the recommended path when our guests were men with too much attitude.

Of course, the way he told me and my five friends – all male – this path was by taking us down it.

My experience of suddenly and unexpectedly getting soaked was disorienting, but also a lot of fun and unforgettable.

I didn't end up staying long enough at this job to try this out on too many tourists, and considering it now, my approach is probably different.

Like the other week when I moved into my new home in the forest and a piece of furniture was manhandled so badly by the moving firm that it broke. I contacted them immediately, offering a generous compromise to settle the matter, but instead of accepting that they started to haggle on the compensation I would get. This didn't land very well with me, which I told them in no uncertain terms. After receiving a rather daft message, I gave them my final offer, which was double the amount I had initially suggested. They paid. Case closed.

Still here,

Christopher

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