Death-in-Life - The Way of Phi in Practice -

Transformation begins in the dark and becomes visible in the light – Like a seed

Dear  friend,

There are moments that affect us strongly. 

Pivotal moments where there seems to be a very clear before and after.

Like being born. Or dying.

Those are existential experiences in the deepest sense.

Have you ever heard the saying that you're supposed to "die before you die"?

Could this be referring to pivotal moments which are of a similar magnitude to dying?

Let's face it: Dying is a big thing.

What else could be on par with that?

I have had a few experiences that might qualify, both dying and being born. Because one implies the other.

One of the earlier once was when I started smoking at age 15. On the first day of school in grade 9, I gave up my joy and vitality in order to be "accepted" by the "cool kids". That day, something in me died. In a sense my connection to myself.

Another one happened in India, when I saw the light at age 22. On that particular day I reconnected to myself and was born again. Those days, I had long hair and seemed to radiate love. Some people who knew me then call this my "Jesus period": 

One thing about these processes is that while being in the middle of them, it's often difficult to see clearly what's going on. They are immersive. They can be overwhelming. And there often doesn't seem to be any sense of the outcome.

Rather, it's about leaning in and surrendering to whatever is going on.

Come what may.

Indeed, the deeper the surrender, the deeper the process can run.

As long as we are clinging on, typically from fear, we are limiting the potential of the experience.

But as much as we let go, the experience will transform us.

Letting go requires trust - and in a world steeped in fear. trust becomes an act of rebellion.

For when we trust and surrender completely, we will undergo a complete transformation.

A word of warning

Transformation isn't just fun and frolics.

This is a deep psychological process that can feel both disconcerting and disorienting.

When entering such processes, we'd better know why we're doing it.

And then approach things with care, caution and a sound judgement.

Eg. who are we letting into our lives at these potentially vulnerable points?

When we are first born into this life, that is out of our hands.

We might - or might not - have some say in how we eventually die.

However, when it comes to these "deaths-in-life", we can - and should - consider them carefully, as they can have quite a significant impact on our lives for a long time to come. 

With gratitude, 

Christopher