Connections that Matter – The Way of Phi in Practice –

From the exhibition 'Feel Me' at Trapholt in Kolding, Denmark

Dear friends,

Are you familiar with The Hero’s Journey? The idea that at the heart of nearly every fairy tale lies a universal myth—a structure where the protagonist embarks on a life-defining quest, faces trials, overcomes resistance, discovers a treasure, and returns home transformed. It’s compelling. It resonates. It offers meaning.

But the more I sit with it, the more I notice a fatal flaw: it ultimately reinforces the primacy of the individual. And in a time and culture that has already swallowed that premise whole—hook, line and sinker—perhaps we no longer need more stories that push us toward ever-greater individualism. Perhaps we need something to balance this deeply Linear narrative with something more Circular.

What might that be? Can we imagine a way of relating to life that is as engaging as the Hero’s Journey—(after all, who doesn’t want to be the hero in their own life?)—but which opens the path toward the Universal, toward the wisdom of collective consciousness?

Before we enter that circle, let’s consider the polarity at play: the “I” and the “You”.

As in the photo above: I relate to You. And perhaps You relate to Me too. That’s beautiful. That’s valuable. But it’s still based on the concept of the individual, and thus risks leaving us as two distinct beings.

But when we stay longer with the deeper meanings of “I” and “You”, something else becomes possible: the emergence of We.

That which is bigger than me. That which is bigger than you. That which can only be known when I begin to see beyond me. And in that moment—paradoxically—it is You who opens the way to the Circular. Not automatically, but as a possibility. As a hidden treasure waiting to be revealed. 

– Why hidden? you might ask.– Isn’t relating to You already proof of connection?

– Doesn’t that mean we’re part of something bigger?

Well, not necessarily. Because it depends on how I relate to You.

If I see you as a pawn in my story, there is no We.If I see you as the one meant to fill a void in me, there is no We.

The Way of Phi begins when the ‘I’ and the ‘You’ dissolve into the living mystery of the ‘We’... and when the ‘We’ holds the ‘I’ and the ‘You’ in its endless embrace.

It’s not about choosing one or the other. It’s both.

Sometimes leaning toward one, sometimes toward the other.Sometimes in equal measure.Sometimes in total confusion.

And if we are being really attentive,

if we are paying attention,

then we might just see the golden bridge over the aqua pool:

The invitation to connect with ourselves, with each other as, and with something greater than we could ever conceptualise.

With grace,

Christopher