I Need to Feel - The Way of Phi in Practice -

What wouldn't I do to feel more?

Dear friend,

It is a time of great upheaval

On a daily basis my feeds overflow

With outrage, despair and disbelief

What is going on?

Why is this happening?

How can this be allowed to continue?

And then,

A thought occurs.

An explanation, perhaps:

We humans need to feel alive

So deep is this need

That we seem to be prepared to do almost anything

Just to feel

I am a human

I need to breathe

I need air

If you give me water

I will drown under the waves

If you give me fire

I will burn by the furnace

If you give me earth

I will suffocate in the darkness

I need air that fills my lungs

And let's me sing

Context matters

And I live in a human context

When I inflict pain on another

I hurt a part of myself

When I inflict pain on myself

I hurt parts of those around me

When I meet the pain already present

Without trying to make it go away

Something different happens

Slowly at first

Almost imperceptibly

But I feel

Oh, how do I feel!

At times excruciatingly

Almost unbearably

But I feel

Yes, now I do feel

How long can I stay with the truth this time

Without flinching

Without projecting

Without distracting

Taking a break

Treading water for a while

Coming back

Again and againComing back

This path is not easy

But here I am

Walking it,

Stumbling

Steadying myself

Walking it,

Falling

Standing up again

At times I meet someone

Who supports me for a while

With a grateful heart

I walk on

At times I meet someone

Whom I support for a while

With an overflowing heart

I walk on

Two wanderers on the path,

Meeting for a brief moment

A moment of recognition

That changes perception

May you feel alive

While you are alive

Still here,

Christopher

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